As a TV producer as well as music journalist, I love watching telly. One series that loads of us rock fans are tuning into is Canal Boat Diaries, which features the charismatic Metal music-loving Robbie Cumming. It has become such a must-see show that we are all ‘bilge watching’ it.
The intrepid Robbie Cumming takes us TV viewers, YouTube watchers and podcast listeners on his journeys along Britain’s stunning waterways and reveals what life is like living on board his canal boat, the Naughty Lass.
From falling into canals to rescuing barges to losing cameras, meeting famous boaters and negotiating tricky locks, Cummings has done it all. It has not all been plain sailing and Robbie has a real story to tell.
The series really appeals to everyone from the senior sofa surfers to my brother, who loves Michael Buble and Newton Faulkner (how the hell did we come out of the same uterus), and all my rock chicks tune in, too.
What I love is that Robbie Cumming shoehorns his love of Metal into each carefully crafted episode. Now on its sixth hugely successful series, it also features Robbie’s own compositions and guitar riffs on a rocking soundtrack – most of which are now real earworms for us viewers.
A fellow metal fan, Robbie often films at the most iconic rock shrines around the UK on his barge travels, from Black Sabbath’s infamous album cover at Mapledurham Mill to Pink Floyd legend Dave Gilmour’s floating recording studio.
About to take his televised Canal Boat diaries to the live stage, I was excited to chat with Robbie Cumming about his latest series, which broadcasts on U TV and the Beeb, to find out all about his travels.
The series features beautifully filmed vignettes of the Naughty Lass as she meanders around the canal and river systems of the UK with Robbie Cumming at the helm. It is edited with intimate video-style diaries together with visits to iconic hotspots. So I asked Robbie what places stood out to him.
“I loved discovering Mapledurham Mill,” he says, “which is the iconic cover from Black Sabbath’s 1970 self-titled debut album. I was disappointed I couldn’t get near it from the river. It is surrounded by ‘do not moor here’ signs, which are really common on the Thames.
“In series two, another cursed Black Sabbath moment was when I made it to the Black Sabbath bench – where you can sit between cutouts of Ozzy, Tony, Bill and Geezer Butler, but it had been walled off due to Covid.
“I never understood that and was gutted we couldn’t end the series with a shot of me on the bench with one of my favourite Metal bands of all time.”
“I also enjoyed seeing Camden Electric Ballroom, where I first saw Therapy? A short walk from Hawley Road Lock, aka Camden Lock, where the markets are and all the tourists staring down at you going through the lock, so you better not fuck up.”
I asked Robbie Cumming which places he had yet to visit. He laughs and asks for any suggestions. So, Metal fans, get your thinking caps on. These have to be near a river or canal, though.
I suggested the Brentford Canal Festival, which takes place yearly with all kinds of bands and some famous connections, including Janik Gers, Robert Rankin and Rat Scabies. However, on the posters one year, the ‘C’ from the ‘Canal’ was missing, which caused all kinds of giggles.
With the huge success of the series, Robbie has been invited to go on tour and bring the TV series to the stage and I cannot wait to go along and see him live and in person.
“It’s a one-man show,” Robbie says, “so I keep it really simple. There are never before seen video clips, behind-the-scenes photos, stories from my 10 years on the water and a Q&A session. That is both the best part and the worst part in terms of what questions I’ll face.
“They can be a bit personal. Everyone seems to want to know where my boat is and what my favourite canal is, and both are equally difficult.”
Ironically, that was my next question. The answer is Rochdale.
“The live show also features a few tracks from my Choons albums,” Robbie says, “and new ones I’m working on. It’s a really laid-back show that changes all the time, depending on where I am.
“I do one or two shows a month, and at the moment, I seem to be getting emails every day from my agent trying to get me to do more. I still want to keep a balance between my more introverted love of recording my own music.”
For Robbie Cumming, on the narrowboat, his studio is the most basic 12v powered equipment, GarageBand on an iPad.
“Recording music can be a messy process,” he says. “With wires everywhere and four guitars and a bass onboard, it kind of makes it difficult to move around at times.”
Intrigued by his love of Metal, I am eager to know what is on his Spotify when cranking it along rivers and canals.
“If you see me out moving my boat and I look like I’ve got a bit of a face on, don’t worry,” Robbie says, “because inside, my brain is very happy listening to the heaviest of Metal.
“Well, I wouldn’t call what I listen to the heaviest, but it would shock the fans of my music [which has been reviewed as being slow-fi folkwave]. I love anything that just chugs, simple heavy riffs, catchy vocals, and genre crossovers – Falling In Reverse, Bring Me The Horizon, and the Amity Affliction seem to get the most rotation on my playlists.
“I saw AA in Birmingham in between filming episodes on series four. The river was in flood so I couldn’t go anywhere. I also love a bit of BabyMetal and Poppy, both of which I am going to see this weekend at The O2.
“I might leave the boat where it is as that part of the Thames is a bit sketchy, and I don’t want to sink my home.”
So where does Robbie Cumming get the inspiration to write his own music?
“I get my inspiration for my own music from my surroundings, the sound of water and the chug chug chug of my Lister engine.”
Robbie writes, performs and publishes himself. “I record through a Presonus AudioBox GO USB interface, which connects any one of my guitars to my iPad and GarageBand.
“It’s so easy. You just have to sit down and dedicate time to it. I often stay up way too late working away on songs onboard, as I don’t get bothered by anyone and can just lose myself in the process. I could train myself, but I love the tactile nature of the tablet.
“Just moving stuff around with your fingers and mixing loops and beats meshed with little tinklings from my guitar and bass lines from my guitar and synthesisers. I would love to record some drum and bass-driven tracks and Metal, but I don’t actually know enough about music production to make it without tearing my beard out or making it sound as Heavy as I would like.
“Also, I would probably alienate 90% of my Canal Boat Diaries fans,” he laughs.
So, if Robbie could squeeze one more guitar on the Naughty Lass – what would it be?
“Jack Black’s custom-made guitar for Pick Of Destiny,” Robbie says, “Just how shiny and black it is. When the camera pans up the neck to reveal the inlaid symbols getting more and more elaborate, it would absolutely brilliant and as a smaller guitar would fit well on my boat.”
“I love going guitar shopping. But to be honest, I have not got a clue. I grew up with no money and no access to expensive guitars I saw other people playing. So I just had to make do.”
Robbie Cumming has been making music since he was 14. “My first band was called Kamikazi,” he says, “and we sounded shite. The drummer’s kit was vintage to say the least. We had about three guitarists, including me, and the bass player was more interested in reading manga comics than writing songs.
“I kept the dream alive, making music on my own and with various bands. But the big turning point was my YouTube videos, which I treated like music videos. This led to discovering how to self-publish, which I think has been a really good business decision in terms of PPL rights, etc.
“But being on the move all the time, it’s impossible for me to join a band as I never know where I’ll be mooring next.”
Robbie says he loves guitarists who serve the song and their own egos. “Simple sounding riffs that you just cannot not bang your head to,” he says. “Wes Borland, Daron Malakian, Mike Einziger.
“Those who create new sounds from the instrument I’ve never heard before like Tom Morello and John 5 and Mike Stringer (Spiritbox) with his ability to write all the parts of the song and that signature neck sweepscrape that he does. Is that what it’s called? Because it should be.
“I also love a bit of John Frusciante and John 5, especially his work with Marilyn Manson.”
As our Zoom ends, I ask Robbie Cumming what’s next for him and the Naughty Lass. His boat is in the dock for some much-needed repairs, so he is training it, not sailing it down to London to watch BabyMetal. Robbie is continuing his podcasts, writing a book and hosting his live shows, so it’s busy times.
This is why I love being a music journo. I get to talk to some of the most amazing people, and soon Robbie and I realised we had sooooo much in common apart from being part of the best music community.
I had a million more questions, and we could have talked all day. So if Robbie has time, there will definitely be a part deux. We’re gonna need a bigger boat.
Until then, as Robbie Cumming says, “Crank on!”
You can find Canal Boat Diaries on BBC iPlayer here. For watching on U, visit here.
