"To confirm then, that's 7.30pm, Tuesday 19th September for The Treatment." I am listening attentively "with Swoggle". I'm alert now and wondering whether I should get my hearing tested as well. Britain needs lerts y'know.
And so it begins! Swoggle is 19 years old and bassmonsterchops in the band they call The Treatment.
"Hiya Hunny he says. I know all about you, I've read your stuff". I'm instantly on guard, this isn't normal behaviour for a teenager. I inform him that I'm an expert on teenage psychology, their love of loud music, terrorising the neighbours and generally causing mayhem.
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Swoggle loves this response, especially when I chide him and say; "I bet you live in a semi detached house and rehearse in your living room?"
"We do, we do." He chimes in; "howdya know??".... Lucky guess....
Swoggle warms to the theme; "When we left school we all moved in together regardless. WE decided college wasn't for us." I suspect the college wasn't ready for them!
"There's seven of us in the house and we work on songs most of the time. Our album was written over a period of a year. Guitars, bass and vocals were done at our house. We spent a lot of time getting it perfect."
The Treatment's album is straight forward rock, happy go lucky mixed with AC/DC and a bit of Led Zepeplin. I warn Swoggle that if I get a speeding ticket whilst listening to this album, he will be paying for me to go on another Northants Police Speeding Awareness Course. Not that I don't know how to speed because I do...
The songs give a good vibe; "That's good though," adds Swoggle. "There's enough to be depressed about in the world today!" This is true - just ask Swoggle'S neighbours.
Though in Swoggle's case, not necessarily so. The Treatment have a European Tour with Alice Cooper on the horizon. They've a superb album to go out on the back of released on Spinefarm Records. "It's insane to really believe it all..." Better believe it because it's all true.
We then chat about bass guitars and he offers to teach me for the price of a tin of baked beans! "I eat every four days," he moans. That's the price of fame. I sympathise a little and make a mental note to add Heinz beans to my shopping list.
I ask Swoggle where he sees himself in ten years time? "We want to crack on at what we are doing and build the band's profile up, y' know, move up the ladder. Stay friends and don't sell each other down the river. Stay a unified bunch of dudes."
At this point I warn him about women and the terrors that lurk within them. He laughs and says that their manager has also given them the very same lecture...
Can't argue with that. Despite falling house prices in Swoggle's Street, deaf neighbours and speeding tickets, Cambridge isn't all about bicycles and culture. It's about rock 'n' roll courtesy of The Treatment. Long may it last. See you at my next appointment, beans in hand.
And just as I'm about to say farewell Swoggle exclaims; "Nikki Ssixx has just tweeted about us."
Swoggle was genuinely overwhelmed with that... It's all good. A little bird said so.
8th October 2011